Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
