my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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