She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
