How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
