i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
