I didn't shave. On purpose
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
