I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Pooping to opera.
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