You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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