i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
