Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
