Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Terrible idea I love it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
