She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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