I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
