He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Moan for me like Helen Keller
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize