I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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