I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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