I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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