he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Quick, to the slutcave!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
