I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
