We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
