His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
