Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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