yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hippo gnu deer
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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