Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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