U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My vagina just recognized that song.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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