Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This is the high leading the old right now
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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