she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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