so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
