So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
