Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
