were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
