My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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