whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
