im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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