I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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