You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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