Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
