I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
