whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
