Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
my poor anus
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
