I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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