this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
