remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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