Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
