The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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