I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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