i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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