it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
