She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this boner is exhausting
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When are your genitals available?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
