you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
