i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize