why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Randomize
