Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
